Last day of the month!!!  So, all you little White Rabbit believers.....you know what you have to do!  A few more visual reminders for you......

Thanks to Rebecca for this awesome mug!  Think I'll drink my morning white rabbit coffee out of it tomorrow!!!  Can't hurt to drink a little "luck"!

Thanks to Helen....think I'll have a good white rabbit scrub in the shower tomorrow morning!  Rub that luck right into my very pores!!!

Last month, I confessed I actually totally forgot!  Tsk, tsk tsk.....You know the expression "Practice what you preach!"  Didn't happen last month but I paid the price big time so can't afford to slip up again!  I do not have a white rabbit here in Vancouver, however, I do have a Winnie the Pooh bear in my bedroom whom I plan to sleep with tonight as a reminder tomorrow morning!

My appointment with the oncologist in charge of the clinical trials here in Vancouver was this morning.  Kelli was meeting friends to do some more practice on physical exams this morning at 8 AM.  She suggested I walk with her to the hospital and I could read and have a coffee while she did her thing and then we would meet at 10 and go to the appointment together.  I just about said..."I will stay here and meet you there," but it occurred to me that despite the fact it is pretty much a direct three block route from here to the hospital, she was concerned I might not make it!  Can I blame her!  So, decided I'd walk with her and take my book along as suggested.

The appointment took all of the two hours they said it would plus some, not really because it was a lengthy appointment, but more because the doctor was running about an hour late.  It turned out he had trained with my Calgary oncologist in Edmonton and they knew each other well.  He explained the various levels of trials to me and explained that they currently have three phase 1 trials happening here in Vancouver.  As of today there are no openings in any of them but he is anticipating that something will open up within the next couple of weeks.  He was a pretty straight shooter, much like my doctor in Calgary.  There was no sugar coating it.  I realize I'm pretty much signing up for a crap shoot and told him so!  In any case, as I said to him....if I don't give it a try I'll never know.  So they will contact me within the next couple of weeks and we will proceed from there.  My tumour has arrived in Boston and the doctor there has indicated testing will take two to three weeks.  Both the oncologist here and Dr Easaw are quite interested to see the results of that testing but I don't think we are holding our breath on that one.  As the doctor said today, he would only consider going to Boston if they found that the tumour had markers that indicated it might respond to a certain treatment.  I think the liklihood of this happening is slim!  But then the liklihood of me ever getting this particular type of cancer was a long shot, so what the heck!  Long shots, both good and bad happen, right???

Maureen arrived today and I am looking forward to spending some time with her over the next couple of days.  Tonight she has gone to watch her son's girlfriend play soccer.  I decided to stay home and go for supper with Kelli.  The weather has improved today.....at least the wind has died down which has been a discouraging factor to going cycling around the seawall.  I am planning to go tomorrow whether she and Kelli want to go or not!  It is definitely cool here but when I see pictures of what you are facing in Calgary I can't complain!

I'm not trying to torture Calgarians.....but this is what it looks like in Vancouver!

So White Rabbits, white rabbits....and this month I want to share the luck with my friends Sandy and Monica!!!  Yes, we need the skill and expertise of wonderful doctors.....but a little luck never hurt anyone!

So not to be rude....but a final thought.....patience is wearing thin.  Let's get on with it!  Here's my latest virtue!

Time to start giving each of you your "visual" reminders for the start of the new month.  This blog is going to contain some revealing confessions!  After all my nagging last month to NOT forget your white rabbits.....guess who totally forgot???  You got it....it twas I!  Probably the reason it has not been the best month!  So this month I have learned my lesson and am going to take extra precautions to ensure this never happens again.  So for the next few days I have some rather original visuals for all of us.  Todays visual comes courtesy of my pals Barry and Wendy.  Whoever would have thought you could even buy a wine named "White Rabbit" but it is in fact out there and can be purchased at the wine store in Cochrane!  I especially love the bottle topper on this unique bottle of wine.  Can hardly wait to drink it!!!!!

Barry and Wendy are appreciative of fine wines so I have no doubt this is going to be a vintage to remember!!!

I understand it is snowing in Calgary!  I know yesterday we did hit some snow around Hope and this morning I got an email from my Dad telling me that they had to close the highway last night and although it had reopened this morning road conditions were poor at best.  Thank goodness we managed to beat that.  We almost decided to drive out today as my appointment with the trials doctor isn't until tomorrow.  Thank goodness we didn't do that.  We were up and off for breakfast early this morning as Kelli was meeting her fellow residents to do some practice work on physical exams.  I left the hospital with very specific instructions on how to get back to Maureen and Duanes.  At one point I looked at Kelli and said...."I won't get lost!  I am an adult!"  Well apparently being an adult has absolutely nothing to do with getting lost.  Seriously I do believe I am directionally challenged.  I managed to find the grocery store with no problem, did a little shopping but then exited the shopping mall from a different exit than I had entered by.  I marched off down the street, confidant in my ability to find Maureen's place but after many blocks, sore arms from carrying four bags of groceries and a growing suspicion that I just might have gone the wrong direction I finally decided that I had gone totally in the wrong direction after all.  I flagged down a cab, told him to take me to 11th and Birch (at least I knew where I was staying) and ten dollars later arrived back home.  I paid the driver, stepped out of the cab and then stared at the various high rise buildings in front of me realizing I wasn't totally sure which one was the one we were staying in.  After a little deliberation I approached the one I was pretty sure was the one, swiped the fob.....nothing.  Hmmm....wrong one.  Next I wandered down the alley as this is the way we had entered and exited through the garage both last night and this morning.  Hmmmmm......didn't look quite right.  Went to another building and tried swiping the fob again.  Nothing......This is getting embarrassing.  Finally returned to the first building and bingo....the swipe worked and I was in.  Honestly.....I was NOT planning to share this story with anyone.  Thought I would just keep it to myself.  After all who shares their stupidity with others.  I guess that would be me.  I knew for sure Kelli would get a laugh out of it....and I was right....and I decided my blog needed a little levity so thought I'd treat each of you to a good chuckle at my expense as well.  The only danger here of course is that soon I'm not going to be allowed out on my own!  Fortunately, I do have good strategies for problem solving....what better way to find your way home than take a cab when you don't have a clue in the world where you are???

I did hear from the clinic this morning.  My appointment is tomorrow morning at 10 and will take at least two hours to complete.  Apparently I was supposed to bring copies of my scans and apparently a patient should just know this without being told.  Well, I don't have them so guess they will have to request them and have them sent but they won't have them for tomorrows meeting.  We have also encountered some difficulties sending my tumour to Boston.  Apparently the first consent form I signed (and that would be the one they sent) was not good enough.  We just discovered a couple of days ago that the tumour was still in Edmonton and had Kelli not phoned to enquire what was happening, I'm not sure when we might have discovered this.  So today, poor Bill was left with the task of dealing with the bureaucracy surrounding the issue of sending human tissue across the border!  His text this morning read...."I guess it pays to blow up once in awhile!"

Spring is definitely in the air and I have three friends who have added members to their families.  Kathy welcomes George,  Tannis welcomes Brisco and Danielle welcomes Jack.

Take a peek!!!  They are all adorable!!!

George....a three year old chocolate labrador.  Adorable but in need of some manners training I am told! His companion, (the handsome gold guy) Walter will be mentoring this process!

Brisco.....all the chocolate Tannis will ever need!  Who could EVER resist this guy???  I must confess I want him!

Meet Jack newest addition to Danielles' gang!.  In Danielle's words...."It's lucky he's so cute or he'd be made into labrador stew!"  This little guy is a silver labrador!  I don't think they are too common.  I know I've never seen one!

Well, the wind is howling out there and it has been cool all day but I think I am going to talk Kelli into going for a short bike ride despite the less than ideal cycling conditions.  We had a rather decadent lunch at Finches today.....Now we need to get a little exercise and fresh air!

"May happiness come on secret winds, surrounding you forever in the ways of beauty."

(Found this quote in the ladies restroom in Revelstoke and loved it!}  Just thought I'd share!

Up early this morning to hit the road west to Vancouver!  We left Windermere around 8 AM in Kelli's new car!  We stopped in Revelstoke and had a second breakfast around 11 AM and then continued on.

We travelled through all sorts of weather, rain, sun....and believe it or not, even snow!!!  

Along the way we listened to podcasts which are reviews of material Kelli needs to know for her exam.  I am thinking I should write the exam as well next week!  I am pretty knowledgable on diabetes, pregnancy and hypertension!  The guy doing the podcasts however, was super annoying.  Every teacher should get an opportunity to listen to themselves talk.  I seriously wonder if this fellow ever listens to his own pod casts.  His three favourite expressions throughout the four hours of podcasts we listened to were......."Is that crystal clear???  Right????  Do you know what I mean??? " At one point I was thinking I wished I had counted the number of times he used these expressions.  It was EXCESSIVE!!!  And it was excessively annoying!!!  

The drive was lovely.  It is amazing how once you leave Calgary and head west, you actually do discover spring.  The trees are in full leaf and the further west we came we also encountered trees in full bloom!  We are a good month away from that experience at home, that's for sure.

It was actually a lovely day driving through the mountains.  Every time I travel over the Rogers Pass I am reminded of the summer my friend Wendy and I rode our bikes from Calgary to Kelowna.  It was the summer I turned 16.  We were going to a badminton training camp in Kelowna and decided this would be a fun thing to do.  My dad was all for it being the adventurous soul he has always been.  Years later I told my Mom I was amazed they allowed me to do it and she confided in me that she was absolutely terrified something would happen to me but agreed to let me go because I was so keen to do it!  Three of us left Calgary allowing ourselves two weeks to reach Kelowna.  My friend Kathy's knees conked out on her once we got to Banff and we had to load her on the train and send her home before continuing on our way.  The trip we thought would take two weeks ended up taking only 4 days!  We were both riding 10 speed bikes with hard leather seats and no helmets!  I especially remember the climb up to the summit of the Rogers Pass.  It was pretty gruelling but the ride down the other side was totally and absolutely exhilarating!  My Mom had every reason to be terrified.  I can remember flying down that hill at full tilt without a worry in the world about wiping out or being run off the road!  Oh to be young and stupid!!!  We arrived in Kelowna a week and a half before the training camp was to commence so managed to get a job picking cherries at an orchard.  In return for our labour we were allowed to stay in a camper on their property and were fed meals.  I think the two of us put more cherries in our mouths than in our buckets.  We were paid by the pound and I believe the first day, between the two of us we made a total of $8.00!!!  Another one of those great jobs I had as a kid! 

I was talking with a friend the other day about the jobs we had had during our growing up years.  I had some doozies.  Of course, like most girls, my first source of income was babysitting.  When I was a teen, a babysitter was paid between .35 and .50 an hour!  I can remember babysitting for one family who were gamblers and often stayed out all night.  They had five kids who were a handful.  I felt it was my responsibility to stay awake and would be sitting there quite bleary eyed when they walked in at 7 AM the next morning.  My next job was at Whitburns Greenhouses where I spent my weekends transplanting plants.  It was hard, dirty work.  From there I had jobs pumping gas, flipping burgers, mopping floors, stapling newsletters, working in the hospital laundry, delivering flyers, filing and typing wiretaps!  My Mom and Dad instilled a strong work ethic in both my brother and I and had the philosophy that hard work never hurt anyone and jobs like these would likely encourage us to pursue a higher education.  They were right!  Of all those jobs there were only a couple I actually enjoyed.  

I think I have become a little sidetracked here!  Time to sign off and get ready for bed.  Tomorrow we are going to take our bikes out and ride around the seawall!  I am excited!!!  I've been looking forward to my first bike ride of the season for weeks!!!

Kelli arrived to Windermere last night!  This morning the guys stayed home to do home maintenance jobs while we girls got our priorities straight and headed out to the golf course.  A little cooler today but still very pleasant for golf.  We arrived in time to hit a couple of buckets of balls.  At Riverside they give you a code that you input into the ball dispenser and it disperses you your allotted bucket.  I gave Kelli her code and then stood there and watched her carefully input the code,  forgetting to put the bucket in place underneath, to collect the balls.  There were range balls flying everywhere!  Hahaha......tooo funny!!!  Poor Kelli was scrambling to grab a bucket and then collect the errant balls while I just stood there and laughed!  Some might call that emotional abuse.....I call it humour in the first degree!!!  We hit our practice balls and then headed out on the course with a very pleasant couple.  Lula had immigrated here from Turks and Caicos and Taylor was from Saskatoon!  We laughed when they told us they alternate winters between the two places.  I think I would have a hard time choosing Saskatoon over Turks. and Caicos!!  They were really nice to play with, however, I think Taylor was one of those guys who believe because he is male he  had to play from the blue tees!  I honestly believe both Kelli and I scored better than he did.  He really didn't belong back there and struggled for the whole eighteen holes.  Every so often I would chirp out my comments which I soon realized were not appreciated.  i.e......"Oh dear.....taking the scenic route I see!".   or "SPLASH!!!"  Kelli suggested that perhaps I was wasting my sense of humour on him!  I would have to agree!  My commentary is definitely not appreciated by all!

On the course with "Bear and Boomer"....  My head covers that I am constantly dropping.  Thankfully, the marshall, Jim, chases around after me and returns them!

Tonight Bill has headed back to Calgary and tomorrow Kelli and I will head west to Vancouver.  We have our bikes with us and plan to do some riding in Vancouver.  I figure what better place to start my training.....flat and at sea level!  We will be there for a week and then back here where she starts her rural rotation in Invermere over the next couple of months.  Bill and I are planning to be out here a fair bit over the next few months and hope to also take a golf trip around BC  playing various golf courses.  We had a couple of other trips planned for the spring and fall but at this point have decided we need to put them on hold until I have a better idea of where I am going with these trials.  Notice I said "Put them on hold!!  Not cancel!"  Still hoping we can do them....just delayed!

A lovely day in the valley but not the 20 degree predicted forecast.  Pleasant but mostly a sweater kind of day for me.  Attendance at the golf course is definitely picking up and the parking lot was much busier when we arrived this morning.  Everyone experiencing early season rounds so that translates into slower rounds.  I had a great game today....96!!!!  Which for me is pretty decent!  Several pars and pretty consistant with just a couple of blow ups.  That game is so much more fun when you play well.  Both Bill and Dad had major blow ups on hole 2.  It was painful to watch and you really don't know what to say as you can sense their frustration.  To make it worse, I managed to par hole 2.  Definitely doesn't help!

Still, despite this we all had a great time.  Tomorrow I think it's just Kelli and I.  The guys have some home repairs to look at.

Hats off to my long time friend Kathy who is now officially retired after 37 years with the city!!!  Freedom 57 Kath!!!  She is off to Italy in May....what a great way to see in your retirement....that and adopting a three year old chocolate labrador!  Doing it in style my friend!

Geoff and Lindsey arrived back from Roatan today.  He called me at the lake and asked if I was the one who had watered their artificial bamboo plant!  True confessions....I watered it three times!  Now that a good fake plant that looks so real it gets watered.

Still feeling good but anxious to move on to the clinical trials.  I will be glad when we make a decision as to which direction to head.  A friend looked at me the other day and said it was kind of ironic how I would complain about all my hospital visits and time spent having treatment etc.  Now I feel a little like a fish out of water not having it at all.

Thought about going for a bike ride when we got home from the golf course today but there is a bit of a wind out there and I decided that maybe 18 holes of golf was enough for the day.  Took Boomer for a good walk and am now just getting ready to start supper!

Enjoy the sunshine!

Beautiful, beautiful day in the valley!  We arrived at the golf course for our 10:30 tee time.  Dad and I decided to ride today.  His hip and knee are giving him grief.  Perhaps a little over zealous on the tennis court.   A little TLC is probably in order to get things back into working order.  Dad went into the club house to check us in while Bill and I got organized.  There was a giant crow hopping around the cart and I had my eye on him.  He knew I had put my bagel into the cart and was just waiting for me to get out of the way so he could swoop in and have an early lunch!  I wanted to go into the club house so zipped my lunch into my golf bag, not realizing that Dad's bagel was also in the cart.  Well, guess who got the bagel!!!  Fortunately Dad was able to make a rescue before too much damage was done but those buggers are incredible theives.  many a golfer has lost their lunch to them!  Dad said he didn't care that the crow had pecked his bagel....he was going to eat it anyway!  I can't say any of us played a stellar game but we weren't terrible either.  Bill came out the overall winner.....but I don't think Dad and I were unhappy with our games.  Some good, some bad.....typical early season game.

As I was playing today, my mind kept wandering back to a year ago.  A year ago I was just being discharged from the hospital.  I could not talk, I was on a feeding tube, a short walk left me exhausted, I was stapled and stitched and quite frankly felt plain awful!  I think if you had told me then that I would be back playing golf, riding my bike, talking, even eating and drinking I would not have believed you.  I am not out of the woods....in fact I'm deep into the woods at the moment but as a friend said to me the other day...."Don't put a nail in the coffin...there's no corpse!"  And I'm not planning for there to be one in the near future!  There's lots of fight left in this girl yet!  I do at times feel like one of those punching bags that kids used to have that you would punch down and it would bounce right back up again.

We finished our round in 3 1/2 hours today and headed back to Windermere.  Bill and I took Boomer for a walk down along the lake front. It is just so lovely and quiet here right now.  The shoulder seasons here are my favourite times of the year.  So quiet and peaceful.   I haven't been letting Boomer go in the water yet.  My first lab, Thumper used to literally break the ice in the spirng to go swimming but later in life he had terrible arthriis.  I think some of it was due to this swimming in freezing water.....just my theory but I would love to spare Boomer that pain.  He, however,  decided to take matters into his own paws today and took a dip in the cold lake followed by a  delectable roll in the mud just to be totally obnoxious.  Of course this led to us throwing the stick for him to get him rinsed off and he was the happiest dog on the planet1  Now he's been banished to the backyard as he is soaking wet and his coat takes awhile to dry out.

Tomorrow we will golf again and then Saturday, Kelli will join us!  Hoping the weather holds!  This sunshine and warm weather are such a treat after the spring we have endured in Calgary!  Bring on the good weather!  We are all ready!

Today was medical overload.  When it rains it pours.  Kelli confirmed my appointment with the Vancouver doctor in charge of the clinical trial out there and we will be meeting with him on Tuesday.  Then I got a call from Edmonton asking me to set up an appointment re. the clinical trials they are running.  Don't know if that trial will be a fit for me but at this point we are keeping all options open.  I also had a call from the Mayo Clinic and am in the process of sending my medical records there.  The only one I didn't hear from today was Boston!  So things are starting to percolate!  Makes me a little antsy to be honest.

I had brunch at the Eggs Oasis in Crowfoot with a friend who often subbed at Ranchlands School.  We had a great gab and brunch was fabulous!  I've been wanting to try this restaurant for awhile and was not disappointed.  Much like Coras but I think a little better!  After brunch Bill and I packed up the truck and headed west to Windermere.  We have a couple of days of golf planned,,,,,Kelli will come out here on Friday night and we will spend the weekend here and then head to Vancouver.  First road trip for her new car!

I had an email from a very special friend tonight who will be undergoing surgery for her cancer very shortly.  I am quite frankly devastated by this news!  This woman has been a source of strength for me over this past year.  Having said that I know she is in the hands of an outstanding surgeon and she is one of the strongest women I have ever met so I feel confidant that her outcome will be positive.  It just seems so unfair that this damn disease is so relentless.

Then I arrived at the lake and Dad's neighbour Cathy and I went for a walk.  We were talking about a mutual acquaintance who after 12 years of being cancer free has had her cancer return.  I think if I had been cancer free for 12 years I would start to be feeling quite confidant that I had beaten it!  Why, why, oh why?

So, a bit of a stressful day.......thank goodness for the lovely drive out here!  I am looking forward to a couple of days of pretending everything's normal.......I even brought my bike.  Kelli and I are planning to do some riding around the seawall.  I think she said if we went around the loop 10 times....we would cover the distance of the Ride To Conquer Cancer!  Hmmmm.....that puts it in perspective for sure.  Makes my hour on the stationary bike this morning look a little lame, that's for sure!!!

For Geoff and Lindsey in Roatan.....for Margot in Florida.....even  for Dad in Windermere.....be happy where you are....IT SNOWED HERE AGAIN TODAY!!!  When will it end?

My day was pretty laid back today.  I went to the club and did a workout on the bike and then went to a hot yoga class that was really excellent today.  I was "adjusted" a lot and it is quite amazing how just a slight change in how you are positioned affects the stretch.  I always feel awesome after one of those classes.  Just wish I was a little more flexible!

I had an email from my friend Barb today.  Barb lives out on the Sunshine Coast and has a friend who has been involved in clinical trials for her cancer.  Seven years ago she was told she had a year to live!  I just love, love, love those kind of stories....so if you have one be sure to send it my way.  Today I decided to bite the bullet and try my magic mushroom powder.  I have been debating the best way to take/eat/drink it.......and decided today I would mix it into a glass of juice.  It turned the juice "mud" brown which is actually the polite way to describe the colour,  and looked absolutely disgusting, however, I just visualized my friend Judy drinking her Golightly formula today and it wasn't so bad!

Tomorrow we will head out to the lake and squeeze in a couple of games of golf before Kelli and I take off for Vancouver.  Geoff and Lindsey come home on Friday.....just in time for the snow storm they are forecasting for Sunday!  Saw some of their pictures today.....Roatan looks fabulous expecially if you are into diving!

I am going to do one last appeal for the Honey Badgers.....I think I have just about badgered everyone enough!  First of all, huge thanks to each and every one of you who have donated to any of us, thanks to all who have donated items for the Silent Auction and thankyou so much to all who have purchased tickets to come to the Honey Badger Party at Schanks on May 25.  A special thankyou to the Lenzin family....Brian and Brenda and sons and wives Mike and Brianne and Chris and Amber.  They have donated to every Honey Badger they know on our team.....and the list is not small!  I told Brenda....the Lenzins own the Honey Badgers.....at the very least they own this Honey Badgers heart!  Krista Gray has suggested they should all be made "honorary Honey Badgers" and I second that motion whole heartedly.  A high five to my good friend Jeff White!  He has thrown himself into this fundraising thing full tilt and has raised over $6000!  That is amazing!

If you would like to support the team,  either through a donation to the ride or by attending the teams silent auction it would be greatly appreciated.  Currently the Honey Badgers are sitting in 5th place for fundraising....and this is up against some huge corporate teams like Enbridge!  I think that is pretty fantastic.  We are still well short of our $100,000 goal but have so far raised $59.265!

I will include my personal URL, however, if there is someone else on the team you would like to sponsor just visit the Ride To Conquer Cancer website and enter in Honey Badgers and the list of our team members will pop up.  Thanks again to each and every one of you.....Every donation helps!

Personal Page URL:  http://www.conquercancer.ca/goto/boomer

Duane Sharmon, a friend and fellow Honey Badger is going to be organizing some team rides.  He has extended an invitation to all Honey Badgers to attend and also has suggested that any of you who have supported us but are not participating in the ride, might want to join us!  I will include his invitation!  It would be lovely to have a group ride!   Please think about it!

3. Training Rides

Maureen and I just finished a 60 km ride from Kihei to Paia and back. Hot (96F) with a brutal headwind south of Kahului. I rather doubt that we will get any sympathy from Calgarians, though. I hear it's been a bit harder to get out on the bike. 

But respectable weather is just around the corner, so it's time to put air in your tires. I'm going to organize a few group rides for the Honey Badgers (if any donors want to join these rides, you are of course welcome!). Hopefully we will be able to provide a 'sag wagon' to help riders who have mechanical problems or who run out of gas along the way. Or who just want a boost up a long hill. I will email details later... 

For the team members who haven't done these kind of distances before, it's time to set up a training schedule. You need to work up to the longer distances progressively, or run a high risk of injury (especially knees). My recommendation for increasing distance is to increase the length of your long rides about 25% each week, leading up to a ride almost as long as what you will do in each day in the RTCC. Working backwards, the training ride schedule should work out something like this:

May 4 50 km

May 11 65 km

May 18 80 km

May 25 70 km

June 1 90 km

June 8110 km

June 15120 km

The first date above (May 4) is when I'm hoping to organize the first team ride. The Accuweather forecast looks good (as if that has any relevance a couple of weeks out!). You might notice that the distance steps back a bit half way through this plan - I think it's a good idea to give your body the opportunity to recover every three weeks or so.

See you May 4, and please remember to donate!

Duane

Today I'm adding a fourth "P" to my Three P's......positivity, patience, perseverance and now PERSISTENCE!    This morning Judy invited me over for coffee and plopped down a plate of calories.  Delicious!  We then had the old colonoscopy chat!  Young women talk about child birth....those us over 50 talk about colonoscopys....the worst part of course being the 4 litre jug of Golitely (ha...whoever named it that had a sick, sick sense of humour) that you have to drink the day before to flush out your system!  Lucky Judy.  That is one test I am happy to have behind me.....ha...another sick pun!  Judy looked at me today and told me she wasn't sure she would be able to go through what I have been through with the same approach I have taken.  I have others say this and I will tell you I have met many cancer patients in this past year who are doing exactly what I am doing.  I agree that most people probably wouldn't be as open and public about their journey as I have been and to be honest it was never my intent to be that way.  The blog started out as a way for me to communicate with friends and family while I was going through chemo/radiation and surgery.  Since then it continues to be a great way to let people know how I am doing but also reinforces my desire to find the good in every day and believe me.....it's there!

Saw a facebook post this morning from Lindsey!  It read..."Nothing like a dead baby gecko in your freshly brewed pot of hot coffee this morning!"  She has such a sympathetic bunch of friends.....Here were the responses.....
-"So you got a free protein booster!  What's your problem."
-"Another White Girl Problem"
-"That's what you get for travelling so much....it's just a question of time."
-"Is that a local delicacy?"

Seriously....a dead baby gecko in my morning coffee would probably cure me of drinking the stuff forever!

Had a good day today.  Coffee, pedicure, walk in the park, and another coffee get together with other friends tonight!  I know it sounds like all I do is drink coffee and have lunch.....I do do a lot of it I confess but I also am working out and riding my bike! Hoping spring is here to stay!  Today was a beauty....finally!

Another grey day out there!  Bill went skiing with his brother.  I opted out!  If I'm going to ski this time of year I'm looking for a blue sky, spring skiing kind of day!  Looking west, I'm seriously doubting they had that kind of day.

Instead I stayed home and had one of those self indulgent days where you do whatever you like, whenever you like.  I took my bike into Bow Cycle this morning for it's "Ride To Conquer Cancer" tune up.  I considered asking them to install a small motor!  I had been told a tune up was around a hundred dollars so was quite pleased when the guy hoisted it up on the rack, adjusted the gears, put air in the tires, oiled the chain and told me that was all it needed and there was no charge!  I'm hoping to get out for a ride this week.  I've been logging lots of time on the stationary bike but I know "real" riding is going to be more of a challenge when you throw in the hill factor!  Still, I'm anxious to try it and feel quite confidant it will be fine!  I wandered around Bow Cycle and have come to the conclusion that cycling is becoming a glamour sport.  The gear and clothing choices are endless.  I stopped to look at bike seats because I am concerned my butt is going to be in major distress riding that distance with little padding on it!  The guy came over and asked what kind of distance I would be riding.  He then told me that actually the cushy soft gel seats (which is what I was looking at) are the worst thing for long rides and it is much better to stick to the firm narrow seat like I've already got on my bike.  Doesn't seem to make sence but I guess I'll do a few rides and see how I fare.  I know last year some of the riders found a good solution to sore butt was to wear two pairs of bike shorts, one over the other!

From Bow Cycle I headed to the Winter Club and had my workout and steam.  Still fighting with this ugly cough that everyone seems to have or have had.  It just won't go away!  The steam certainly helps and I should be more diligent about going on a daily basis.

For those of you who have asked for Schanks tickets....I will deliver this week.  Just let me know how many and when is good for you!  I'll be there!

I had an email from Geoff this morning.  Sounds like Roatan is quite the place.  Great diving and beautiful!  Think I'll add it to my list!  He sent a picture of a seahorse!  I've never seen one of those!

Is that what I think it is??????!!!  Yikes!!!  

FYI  We had our first snowfall of the year exactly 6 months ago today!  And it's snowing again!  Yes, we do live live in the land of winter!  No wonder we have to take vitamin D supplements living where we live!

We are going to friends for dinner tonight and I volunteered to bring dessert!  Why anyone ever allows me to do this is beyond my comprehension but I secretly think they enjoy the stories that go along with my dessert creations.  Today, I decided to tackle a new recipe which is often a recipe for disaster!  It would appear that the dessert was successful but it wasn't until I was into the prep of it did I realize that this is probably the most decadent thing I have ever made.  12 ounces of white chocolate, whip cream, cream cheese, grand mariner.......I think you could put weight on looking at it.  The guys won't care but the girls are going to kill me!

Last week I was in Amerynth Foods and got suckered into buying some holistic synergistic food blend for "vitality and purification that is rich in minerals, amino acids, antioxidants and polysacharrides."  Man....you see how vulnerable people get (and desperate) when they start buying this stuff.  I just read the back of the package and just about fell over when I saw what I paid for this "miracle food".  I was walking through the store and it caught my eye with it's title....New Earth Organics....Liver Life!  Pardon my French here but I'll bet it will taste like S&*$!  I'll just write a little of the jargon that is on the back of the package and you will truly shake your head at my impulse by.  Believe me....my head is shaking back and forth as I write this....

"At New Earth Organics we recognize the magic of real foods.  By honouring the intelligence of nature and respecting the "how and why" certain foods have been consumed traditionally in their real whole food form we can start to rediscover and understand this powerful wisdom from Mother Earth......  "

Leslie's Losing It!!!!  Here's the evidence to prove it!!!

It goes on more but I just wanted to give you a taste.  Man....I must be desperate.....well I am!  So try it I will no matter how bad it tastes which from my experience is generally the case.

I will be heading out to Vancouver the end of next week.  Kelli is writing her final exam out there and I have an appointment to meet with a doctor associated with the trial they are running out of Vancouver.  At this point we are investitating all options on the advice of my oncologist here and will then make our decision as to which direction we should go.

Yes....I am still planning to do the ride!  I still have lots of tickets for the Fundraiser "Party" at Schanks on May 25.  For those of you who have sent me emails requesting tickets I will get them to you this week. Many thanks for your never ending support and encouragement!  We move forward with your strength, your optimism and your generosity!  I know the trials are a long shot but they are a shot and my attitude throughout this has been I will take whatever they offer me and hope I will be one of those miracles you so often hear about.  Yes, a phase 1 trial is a little scary but I look at it this way....maybe it'll work for me!  I won't know if I don't try.....and if it doesn't maybe my participation can help someone else!

See the beauty in every day. That has been my motto over the past year and probably even before I got sick.  Appreciate what you have and give thanks for all that is good in your life.   Difficult when you watch the TV and listen to the news about the horrible events that occurred in Boston!  One wonders "why?" But we wonder that why with rational minds.  No person who commits such a crime against humanity has a rational mind.  They do not think like we do.  They do not value life as we do.  My heart goes out to both those injured or killed and to their families.  It is hard to even imagine the grief these people must be experiencing.  As I drove home from the lake today I was reflecting on humanity.  Personally, I have only experienced the good in people over this past year and continue to be overwhelmed by the generous spirits of so many people who I am fortunate to have in my life.  It is so sad to know that this spirit of generosity is not universal....that there are evil people in this world who have no compassion or care for human life.

I arrived home around two today!  I was hoping to drop in some friends who were scrapbooking in Canmore.....but the timing didn't work as we are going to the hockey game tonight.  Kelli has been busy trying to set things up for me for the trials.  She had a teleconference with my doctor today and he has referred me to both Vancouver and Edmonton.  We are also waiting to hear from Boston.  My tumour arrives there Monday and they will test the genetic markers and then make their recommendations.  My doctor is really going to bat for me and is working hard.  Believe it or not....I'm a success to him and he's doing his best to find the best fit for me on this next step!  I really appreciate all he has done for me and know I must sit down and write him a letter.

So despite the events in Boston I will continue to look for the good and beauty in every day!  I must!
Here is todays vision of beauty......Verdent Creek near Vermillion Crossing!  I simply had to stop and take a picture today!

Day 2 on the golf course.....oops....yesterday must have been a fluke!  Todays game not nearly as good for me....but much better for Dad!  Early season jitters I guess.  It really didn't matter.  It was a lovely day to be out on the course and again, although there were a few more golfers out today, it was still pretty darn quiet!  I stopped in to thank LeeAnn in the proshop for the golf courses donation to the Honey Badgers Silent Auction.  They have donated two nights accomodation at Riverside along with tee times!  That's a pretty nice donation!  I hope someone will enjoy it!  Come and play my course!  If you want....I'll play with you!

We are now home, have had a walk and I just gave Dad a cooking lesson on how to make brownies.  The whole house smells like chocolate right now!

Speaking of chocolate, my friend Kathy adopted a three year old chocolate lab last night.  His name is George and it sounds as if she and her daughter are totally smitten!!!  Funny how these guys can worm their way into your heart very quickly!  I'm looking forward to meeting him!

Tomorrow I'm heading home.  It sounds like the weather is turning for the weekend!  Back to ugly but more good weather in the forecast next week so may head out this way in the next bit and will bring Bill with me!  We are going to the hockey game tomorrow night.  I watched the game last night and honestly, I think the Flames have done the right thing going with some younger players.  We may not be contenders this year but maybe, just maybe next year will be different!

It's been a good few days at the lake.  Fresh air, a little exercise and good company!  A good break!  Still waiting to hear about the trial options and must confess I'm anxious to move forward on this one.  Waiting can never be a good thing when you are in this position and patience is a tough thing to practice!  "Let's get ready to Rumble!".....is how I'm feeling at the moment!

I am sitting in my Dad's backyard enjoying the sunshine.  Dad is cutting the grass and Boomer is rolling in hit grunting like the happy little pig he is!  He is totally covered in grass clippings and doesn't realize that he is going to be banished to the backyard until it falls off!  He will not be happy about that as he is definitely a dog who likes to be where his people are!

I played my first round of golf of the season today.  It was cool this morning but the sun was shining and it was one of the bluebird sky days!  When we pulled into the parking lot at the golf course there were only a couple of other cars so we pretty much had the course to ourselves.  We played with Dad's friend Ron today who is a great guy to play with.  He never loses his temper and he always knows where everyone's ball is which is a definite asset!  I walked the front nine today and we took a cart on the back which is pretty much what I was doing most of last season.  When we walked up to the first tee box I looked up to the red tee box and noticed that there was a bench there that wasn't there last year.  In my usual speak without thinking way I said "What a stupid place to put a bench.....what idiot's going to sit there?"  (It's directly in front of the blue and white tee boxes.)  I guess if you were a group of ladies playing and were waiting to hit off you might sit there but it seemed like a really crazy place to put a bench.  My dad whispered to me that Ron had been instrumental in getting the bench placed there The bench is a commemorative bench in memory of his neighbour who passed away a couple of years ago.  They put it there so his wife would be able to see it from their house.  Ron explained this to me and I felt like a total dolt!  At least he didn't seem to be too bothered by it.  Later, on the way home, my Dad confessed to me he had made the same comment to Ron when he first saw it.  Guess tjhe apple doesn't fall too far from the tree!

I had some fabulous holes today, shot a few pars, putted much better than I usually do but did have a couple of blow outs too, resulting in a score of 100.  I'm actually quite happy with that score given the circumstances and the fact it was my first time out this season.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a little more consistant.

Look at that!  Grass is actually turning green here and the trees are ready to bud out any day!  This picture really doesn't show how green it really is!

We headed home at the end of eighteen and I took Boomer out for a walk around town.  I always enjoy my first walk around here.  There are always changes.  Old houses being knocked down and new ones going up.  It is such an interesting community with a combination of old homes and double wide trailors that have been here forever mixed with million dollar homes.  Strangely it doesn't take away from the charm....I love this time of year out here because it is soooo quiet.  None of the summer people are here yet and there really aren't many full time residents.  When I was walking the dog last night I couldn't believe the starts in the sky which of course you notice so much more because of the lack of street lights.

The lake is so beautiful this time of year.  No boat traffic.  Nobody on the beach!  Peaceful!  Just wait til August!

Hope things are warming up at home......I know we all want what I have right now.  A little taste of spring!!!

Another day of winter in Calgary.  I don't think there's a Calgarian who isn't fed up with "white"!  My phone rang this morning and it was an old family friend, Izy.  Izy and Peter lived behind my Mom and Dad at the lake for years and they were terrific friends.  Izy and Peter would spend their summers at Windermere and then head to Victoria for the winter months.  A few years back they decided they weren't enjoying the move between places and decided to sell their place here to their kids and make Victoria their permanent residence.  We miss having them here but it is nice that the place has stayed in the family.  Izy called to tell me she loved me this morning!  She also told me she wanted to make a donation to my Ride To Conquer Cancer!  (the timing couldn't be better.....my prediction about my friend Jeff taking the team lead has come true!!  He's on fire with his fundraising. Anyways....Izy's call made my day.  She has been away from home for the last few weeks helping one of her daughters who had a hip replacement.  She told me she arrived home to a spotless house and a dozen roses!  Even at 82 Peter is a romantic!  It is so sweet to see a couple like this who after many years of marriage still appreciate each other!  I was watching a program the other day (I have started watching some daytime TV lately...(.something I have never done in my life!) but in my defence it is always when I am riding the bike!!  The interview was with the actor who plays Patrick Ewing on Dallas.....He's been married for 41 years to the same woman.  The interviewer asked him what his secret was and his answer was that they simply stuck with it.  He said marriage has ebbs and flows and he said the secret was to not bail at the first sign of "low".  I do agree with this to some extent.  I don't suppose many of us married people could honestly claim there haven't been times in our marriages when we have contemplated going our seperate ways!  Having said that......I have several friends who totally made the right decision to leave!  Sometimes there is no chance things will recover and the brave decision to start afresh is the only decision to be made.  Still....I do believe that some people exit too easily without making an honest effort to recharge their marriage.

This pretty much sums it up for me!

OK...enough of that stuff.....Got my car packed up to head out to Windermere for a few days.  Headed west with my CD player blasting and hit just about every kind of weather imaginable between Calgary and Invermere.  Around Lac des Arcs I drove into a huge blizzard with limited visibility.  Fortunately the blizzard only lasted a few kilometres and the sun came out.  Highway 93 is one of my favourite drives.  To drive along this stretch is like a session of therapy for the soul.  I absolutely love it....always have!  I arrived in Windermere around 4 PM to sunshine and guess what....NO SNOW!!!  We have tee times for tomorrow and Thursday and I can hardly wait.  I am sure my game will stink but both Dad and I agreed tonight that the score doesn't seem that important anymore.  At least we said that....we'll see how we fare tomorrow when it takes several shots to exit a sand trap, or if I put one of my favourite balls into the Columbia River!  I'll just have to remember..."Breathe!"

Kelli is on her way home and Geoff and Lindsey are just starting their adventure in Roatan.  I'm at the lake...my happy place.....and Bill is home working!  Someone in the family is getting ripped off!

Update on the Honey Badgers!  We have surpassed the halfway mark for our fundraising.  $52,000!!!!
Only $48,000 to go!  Yikes!


                                                               HONDURAS

Had a quiet weekend.  Still struggling with a cold but I did get checked out last night at the Cochrane Urgent Care facility and I don't have pneumonia which I was a little worried about.

Today, I went out to Bragg Creek with a friend to have lunch with her friend who has been involved in several drug trials.  A bit of a sobering lunch hearing about her experiences with the trials and a bit of a strange feeling to have the three of us sitting around a table.....all three of us jumping in the lifeboat and realizing our options are becoming somewhat limited.  Having said that , it was nice to be with two people who totally understood my situation, who have lived and are living through exactly what I am  experiencing.  I think for all three of us, the biggest worry is our families especially our kids.  I came home, appreciative of the opportunity to talk to these two wonderful women, put on my sorels and headed off to Nose Hill with Boomer for a trek around the park.  The going was tough today with all the snow but it was so therapeutic to be up there in the fresh air,  doing something physical.

I have just been watching the footage from the Boston Marathon.  What a sad state our world is in when things like this happen.  Of course, at this point, no one knows who is responsible for this horrific act but you have to question the senselessness of this sick act of violence.  My heart goes out the the families of all who were caught and are now fighting for their lives.  So sad!

I'm sitting at my kitchen table looking at the weather out there.  It is grim.  I took Boomer for a very short walk this afternoon and he's not impressed to say the least.  He loves this weather and can't understand why the walk wasn't the usual distance!

I had a pretty laid back day today.  Still fighting this cold.  I did meet my friend Kathy for coffee this afternoon.  Kathy is one of my oldest and dearest friends.  We go way back...I think our friendship started when we were twelve years old.  When I had coffee with Kim the other day we were talking about these amazing friendships that span a lifetime.  Kim was telling me about her childhood friend who leads a very different life at this point in time than Kim does but they still maintain their closeness.  I always tell my kids to treasure those friendships....they are gold.  Both Kelli and Geoff have friends dating back to elementary school.  Geoff was best man for his buddy Trevor and Trevor was Geoff's best man.....they have been pals since the age of 5.  Kelli is the maid of honour for her friend Ashley in September and they have been friends since they were nine or ten.   Keeping a friend means making an effort.  To often we drift and after a period of time the friendship is lost.  I have friends who have been pretty much a constant in my lifetime but I also have a few who I had lost contact with who have reappeared.  When I sat across the table from my friend today I couldn't help but think of what we have experienced and lived through together.  We have shared each others joys and sorrows. We have stories that are best left untold...although after a few drinks those stories do tend to come out.   We know details of each others lives and know without a doubt that we are there for each other.  To know someone has your back like that is an amazing feeling.

I got a message from my old friend Vicki a couple of days ago.  Vicki and I were those friends who had drifted but when she heard about my illness she called me up.  When we were kids we rode horses together. We spent hours up on Nose Hill and horses were our passion.  My horse had to be put down when I was seventeen and I never got another one but Vicki has maintained her involvement in the horse world and even lives in the country.  We have a date as soon as this weather clears to go riding.  I can hardly wait.  It's been awhile since I've been on a horse!

Geoff and Lindsey left for Roatan this morning.  Bill was up at 3AM to drive them to the airport.  What a dad!!!  I on the other hand rolled over when the alarm sounded and went right back to sleep.  What a mom!!!

Talked to my Dad this morning and he was actually heading out to play golf at Riverside.  Unbelievable when I look out my window.  I am heading west on Tuesday and we have tee times booked for Wednesday and Thursday.  Sooooo excited!  Windermere is definitely one of my happy places on the planet!

Time to crack out the clubs!!!

Thanks to my Godmother, Aunt Marian for sending this to me this morning!  I like the message,however she also sent me the one below and it is the one that made me laugh!

Bill didn't think this was funny but I thought it was hilarious!

The day certainly started a little slow.  I had many emails that I wanted to respond to and a few phone calls to make and it is amazing how quickly the time can fly by.

I finally decided I needed to head up to the club to log some time on the bike.  I have managed to catch a bit of a cold.  Everyone around me has had colds these past weeks and I was so pleased with myself to have avoided it.  Guess I was prematurally pleased!  Funny,  16 months of surgeries, chemo and radiation and I haven't had a single bug.  For the first time I am not on any chemo, am not recovering from any surgeries and bang....I get a cold!  Maybe I could market some of my chemo pills as cold preventatives...better than Cold FX!!!  I did put my time in on the bike but didn't push it much and had a good session in the steam room trying to clear my nose and throat.

Got some pictures from Kelli in Turkey.  Amazing place!  They are really having to do it on the fly as they only have twelve days there but they are packing lots into their twelve days!  I am here at home living vicariously through her emails and pictures and loving it!  Tomorrow Geoff and Lindsey leave for Honduras for a diving, beach holiday so I'll get a whole new set of pics from them.  If I know Geoff there will be shots of sharks circling around while he squats on the ocean floor with a huge smile on his face and a thumbs up!

Had a nice visit with Colleen Jurgens, her adorable baby, Olivia and Edie Kovacs today.  I worked with these girls at Ranchlands and always enjoy their company.  Edie has such a great sence of humour and can always make me laugh.  Today I was commenting on my voice and she looked at me and said...."What do you mean a problem with your voice?  It sounds just fine!  A little quieter than before.....and that's a good thing!!!"  Colleens, Olivia is one of the cutest and most content baby girls I have ever seen and I'm not just saying that.  We must have visited for a good two hours.  Olivia was awake the entire time and not a peep out of her....just smile after smile!

Update on the Honey Badgers.....The team has now raised about $48,000.  There are twenty six who have not met their $2500 commitment yet.  If each of these 26 raises the minimum $2500 the team will raise about $90,000.  Geoff set our goal at $100,000 so we are hoping that some will exceed the minimum and help us achieve this goal.  Thanks to the many who have purchased or have indicated they will attend the function at Schanks on May 25.  I am so excited to see all of you!  I do my best to stay in touch but think it will be so fun to have you all at this event celebrating and supporting the Honey Badgers.

First of all a big thank you to the many who sent me messages yesterday and today.  I know we are all disappointed at my results but as my friend Jeff said today....."We're not done yet!" I will confess to all of you here and now that I was feeling pretty down in the dumps yesterday but after allowing myself a doozie of a pity party I decided today to get up with the attitude I have done my best to adopt over this past year.  My friend Judy reminded me this morning that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it!  So this morning I looked at the day with fresh eyes.  "Life's to short to start your day with broken pieces of yesterday.  It will definitely destroy your wonderful day today and ruin your great tomorrow."  So off I went for coffee with my friend Kim and we had a real good gab!  From there I headed to the club for my hot yoga class.  It was simply lovely to be in the hot zen room today!  Had a real good sweat and then hit the steam room for a bit before heading home.

The robins are back if you haven't yet seen them.  I've seen scores of them in our ravine this past couple of days!  There are three things that really signify spring for me.....pussy willows, robins and crocuses!  So far I've seen two of the three but am still waiting to see my first crocus of the season!

Sounds like Turkey is an interesting place, although Kelli has not yet posted many pictures.  Everyone I have talked to that has been there has loved it so I look forward to hearing about their adventure.

Bill spent the day rounding up my medical records and scan discs to send to Boston.  Apparently my tumour is supposed to be sent today and I should be hearing from them soon about whether or not they think they have a protocol that will work.  The good news was that he said that our insurance plan and Alberta Blue Cross will cover some of the expense as long as I can get a note from my doctor saying that that treatment is not available here and he is recommending it.  That should not be a problem as he suggested yesterday that he would like me to pursue the drug trial option.  

So, my friends.....your tears, your fears, your pep talks, are all appreciated.  Yesterdays blog was the most difficult one I have written in quite some time.   I almost didn't but I knew that there would be people anxiously awaiting the results and I knew it was not fair to not share this when you have all been so supportive over this past year.  I am glad it is out in the open although I must tell you that I had two encounters yesterday,  after my oncologist appointment that just left me shaking my head.  The first was at Friends where we went for lunch with my brother.  I ran into a fellow who I knew from years ago and now see occasionally in the off leash park.  He was having his lunch and I stopped at his table on the way out to chat.  He has no idea what I've been through and after a few minutes of small talk he looked at me and said "Well you sure look great!"  If he only knew.  From there I went to visit my dentist and got the same comments from the receptionist and my dentist.  After getting my teeth cleaned and checked my dentist did a thorough check of my mouth and tongue for oral cancer!  Like I needed that yesterday!  Wouldn't that have been the icing on the cake if he'd found something. Fortunately, not.

So Carpe diem!!!  Seize the Day......To get an opportunity to do something you want and not worry about the future, seize the day.  You may never get the chance to embark on such an adventure again!!!

Well, had my appointment this morning and news was not what we had hoped for.  It's hard to believe actually, given the fact I have felt so good these past weeks.  But the reality is that the cancer is back and there is nothing more they can do for me at the Tom Baker.  This said....I am not done.....my doctor is going to check with Edmonton and see if they are running any clinical trials and of course we have already put the wheels in motion to check out a trial happening in Boston.  As always, this waiting period will be the toughest.  I am always happiest when we are proactive but perhaps I should just continue to enjoy this break from the chemo as hopefully I again will be enjoying it in the near future!

There is still a lot of fight left in me yet!  I just need to get my family on board here.  All I have ever wanted since this all started was for them to function as normally as possible.  I promised Kelli I would let her know when I got the knows (she is on Turkey) and although I desperately wanted to go back on this promise we did send her a message today.  Geoff was at the hospital this morning so we were able to tell him the news face to face!  So hard!  Bill and I have shed a few tears today....we've had a few angry rants....but now we are focussed on what the goal has been all along.  To continue this fight as long as there is ammunition out there to do it with.  Thank you all for your support....looks like I'm going to need more of it!  In the meantime I'm still planning to do the bike ride....I'm still planning to live each day to the limit and I expect my family to do the same.  I'm waiting to see pictures from Turkey and next week of Honduras which is where Geoff and Lindsey are headed for a couple of weeks.  Geoff and I have a golf date on the long weekend in May!  Kelli has an exam to write next month.....and we have a graduation to attend in June!

One down, one to go.  Visited the Voice Clinic today and it was pretty much as I expected it would be. Had the tube down the nose and sang a few notes for the doctor (seriously) while he viewed the vibration of my chords.  I pretty much guessed what the appointment would be and I was bang on right.  My voice is stronger.  One of the vocal chords is working quite well, the other, not so much and the gap has neither increased nor decreased.  He thinks I am pretty much where I am going to be.  He said improvements don't usually happen much after the year mark.  If that is the case, so be it, but I still believe things can improve.  Honestly though, I have bigger things to focus on than this and tomorrow's appointment will be more telling.

This morning I was a little out of sorts, as I often am when I have to go to a meeting with a doctor re. results.  Kind of like finding out if you passed or failed a test in a sense....at least it evokes similar emotions.  Bill finally said to me..."You are grumpy today."  My answer was that I thought the appointment today was a waste of time.  I know my voice and breathing are not normal...I don't need to have the doctor slip a tube down my nose and tell me that.  Bill looked at me and said "Well, it's not like you had something better to do is it."  Of course it is.....I missed yoga today for this.  The good news is the doctor said no need to come back unless I had concerns and all I had to do was call if that was the case.

I am glad my appointment tomorrow is first thing in the morning.  That way I won't be fretting my day away....just get up and go and get it over with.  So hoping I won't need chemo for awhile in which case I will probably head out to Windermere and crack out my golf clubs next week!  The picture below pretty much sums up how I'm feeling about tomorrows' appointment!

I'm just hoping my body has been listening to me tell it over and over and over.....in with the good....out with the bad.  I saw a saying I really liked the other day which pretty much sums up how you deal with these things.....FEEL.....DEAL....HEAL!  Do wish it was that easy!

This morning I was puttering around trying to kill some time before my appointment.  I was dusting and sifting through some things that needed to be moved out when I came across a number of things I have collected over the years and refuse to part with.  For my students who are reading this.....I have kept pretty much every single gift I have received over the years.  I have a box of paper cranes in my laundry room, I have posters and cards, when I decorate my christmas tree at christmas I have many ornaments kids have given me over the years, I have candles,  pottery, mugs etc. etc.
Here is a gift I received 17 years ago from a family of three boys I taught at Cambrian Heights.  It still sits on my book case in my family room and each time I dust that shelf I think of that wonderful family and those three boys!  It is a pottery vase with three stalks of wheat in the vase, representing each of the boys.  I recently had an email from their Mom filling me in on where they are at in life....and no surprises....all are successful, contributing members of society and all three are now parents themselves!

I have literally taught thousands of children over the course of my career and it is always so gratifying to hear about the kids that steered their way through adolescence without any major slips and have grown up happy and healthy!  Unfortunately this is not always the case and just as often we hear about those kids who have slipped through the cracks.  Sometimes it was predictable and expected but sometimes a total shock when it happens.  I smile when I walk into Cobbs Bakery or Earls and run into a former student working a part time job and they speak to me.  Often their appearances have changed drastically since elementary school.  I'm sure mine has as well but sometimes I don't recognize them and it is really wonderful when they speak up and tell you who they are.  One day I was in Bonton Meat Market and ran into a student who I had taught several years ago.  Business was booming but she took the time to visit with me.  Once my purchase was completed I headed to the door but her voice stopped me dead in my tracks....."Mrs. Sherlock....just so you know...you were the best gym teacher ever!"  How sweet is that!  Made my day for sure!

In finishing off today, I want to congratulate my good friend Judy Duncan.  She recently competed in the World Cross Fit Games.  Her trainer has been trying to convince her to enter but she was reluctant.  Finally after a little prodding she agreed to give it a try!  Have you heard that saying...."Do something every day that terrifies you?"  It sounds as if this was the case with Judy.  She said she had trouble sleeping over the five weeks the competition ran but each time she went for the workout her mantra was "Calm and Strong".  (I'm going to use that one myself tomorrow.)  Well....the end of the story is pretty darn fantastic and I am SOOOOO PROUD of her.  She came first in Western Canada and thirty fourth in the world for her age group!  She told me what the workouts entailed and believe me....Challenging!!!!  I can't remember a lot of the exercises but it involved a lot of weights, chin-ups, skipping (90 double unders!!!)   Judy is not one to toot her horn and I didn't even know she was doing this.  She told me she told very few people.  So it's up to me to toot her horn long and loud!!!  ATTA GIRL!  That is something to be proud of!  So if you know Judy be sure to give her a big high five the next time you see her!

Time to head out to celebrate Kathy's upcoming birthday!  I'll be polite and won't mention which birthday but will say it's quite a large number and worth celebrating!